The Profile

Writing a good profile is almost like art, a creative process that cannot be forced, keep on shaping it until it is good. Spread the writing over more moments over the day if you fall victim to a writers block. And once you have something that works, keep it. Your overall goal is to be catchy in your profile: Stop the woman, make her wonder.

Also check the features of the dating service you use. Some make a summary of your profile to show in an overview, like the first few lines, or the city you live in and your profession. Herein you should do something to catch attention. Can be overly lame or originally funny.

Whatever it is don't use something that is used by more people (SEX! Now I have your attention... read my profile).

Hint needed? Use a little twist, for instance use objects instead of emotions.

To describe my character: teapot, glass roof, mountain bike, art.

Examples of overly lame statements:

Boy looking for girl (this concludes this newsbreak)

I have a good relationship with my mother, strong teeth and nice shoes

It is a delicate pitfall, but unless you are aware of it, many casual statements can disqualify you terribly in your profile. Simply because they make you look like a hobbyist or worse: a real life loser.

No clue what I am talking about? Read these examples (and the feelings women will have):

- After long hesitation I decided to subscribe (right, who didn't?)

- I never did this before (me neither, so you are still a virgin too?)

- I do not know how to describe myself / this works / do this / feed the cat (ask mommy for help, not me)

- Sorry for the bad photo / story / whatever (it's okay, and sorry for not replying to your mail)

- I will write more later (no need, I am already also not interested in writing you)

- Write me and find out more about me (thanks for the tip! Couldn't think that up myself)

Before you know it, you may write these kinds of sentences in your profile, and yes: they kill you.

Okay, now, really important: I absolutely do not want you to think of a green toad exactly right now. Not even a small one, and not even one that does not have such a bright yellow green look.

Are you seeing the toad?

The lesson? Use only positive statements to describe you: do not use denial of negative statements:

I am not clingy, not aggressive, not poor, not in search of a relationship and I am not lonely.

You still there?

Guys tell me I am a free spirit, peace loving, rich in everything, amiable and a nice friend would enrich my life.

Read again, this sentence literally says the same thing as the previous sentence.

Then the last don't: Do not write measurable and objective criteria you have for future female contacts. Do not write a statement in your profile that reads like: You should be between 25 and 28 years old, between 5'10 and 6'2", have curly hair, blue eyes...

First off: you probably are not going to have 100 responses per week, so any girl that writes, you can check for features you do not like.

But most important: if you do write these kinds of shopping lists: remember that women like to be appreciated for WHO they are, not WHAT they are. You giving such an objective list turn women off.

Back to the constructive items: What works is to give girls a reason to write you, for instance because there is a funny inconsistency in your profile. Concrete example from my last dating service: It had standard questions that you could fill in. Read this:

Do you like pets? NO

Do you have pets? YES

All guys assume you have to be pet loving to be a nice guy. So in almost all profiles it says 'yes'. You saying 'no' shows backbone, character, a little will at least.

Answering 'yes' on whether you have pets, though you don't like them gives a nice twist that boggles girls' minds, and they will respond and ask.

Last most and important advice - if you do not get all the previous things, do at least this right - your profile should be you and your clear preferences. Try to project what you are like, and what you like to do, without compromise or excuse: "I am available often, except on weekends, then I am always out surfing. Deal with it."

Okay, you're all set up. In some cases you have to wait for approval before your profile shows up on the site. Wait with writing before it is approved and accessible to all women. If they read your message, check your profile and it is blocked, you just lost another potential contact.